Hardisk aku dh full dan drama banyak lagi yang belum dapat simpan. So aku simpan semua sepah2. Ada dekat komputer office (which means, bahaya dan tak boleh) dekat lattop aku. (lagi bahaya, lattop lama. Kang tetiba dia tak boleh on. Menangis nak download balik) dan ada yg kt fon. ( Same case as my lattop) so, aku bergantung harap pada hardisk. Dan nak beli baru pun satu hal jugak. Baik aku kumpul duit beli lattop baru. Kan... So kesudahannya aku bukak lah semua folder2 lama yang dalam hardisk. Mana tahu boleh kurangkan sikit beban dia. Boleh masuk satu drama pun jadilah.
Dan bila bukak folder2 lama ni mulalah tersingkap kenangan dulu... sewaktu...kasih berputik...ku gengam..erat tanganmu..Kau tunduk.....sembunyikan wajah...namun dapat aku..... (STOP IT YUHA)
(Face palm)
And Ive found the most, memorable, sweetest and authentic picture or my memories.
Okay, now let me be a sentimental person,
Im start having a melancholy.
Jujur aku cakap.... Aku jugak yang lepaskan semua...dan aku jugak yang back off dulu. I never hope anything from them anymore. I dont want to ask them to hold on me. Or to look for me. I just want them to remains as my sweet memories.
Maybe after all the worst tings happen, they have a wonderful and their journey are far way beautiful than me. Then gather a lot of tings better than me. They face far way hard things than mine.
For me, this is the only memories that I cherish the most. On that time, no more suicide thought. even life was hard. But I still have my own dream. My own target. My own bull eye.
Now, all those things become past. Memories that need to remain as memories.
I don't want to be seen as someone who could not move on. For me, its okay to reminisce about past especially the one that I treasure the most. I want people to know, Im someone among them. Among these great people now. Im become someone who drift far away from them. But Im still among them. Before.
Im also the one who know how to have fun. But Im the one who easily give up. Easily feel offended about everything. I hate who I am rite now. But I cant do anything about it.
I tried hard. I . tried very hard to keep me alive now. Every second, I need to find a reasons to breath.
I want to smile like before. But I cant start it again. Because It was memories.
Housemates.
My lilt sister. My sister and brother. But its all in the past. Now, Im no one for them.
Just hating myself for not be able to protect this relationship.
The guy at my back are the one who can make me laugh like crazy and be crazy with him. He always ask me how am I doing, cuz I always have a straight face.
But how he doing now?.
I dont know how things ended with this 2 girls. One, I meet at the first time at UiTM and the other one, my comrade in Final Project Semester 6.
My comrade.
Yup. Semua orang dah tak sama mcm dlm gamba2 ni. Orang yang paling rapat jadi orang yang jauh sekali. Aku dan dunia aku. Deorang dengan dunia deorg. Setiap hari aku terpaksa cari sebab untuk aku terus bernafas. Aku masih tak tahu kenapa aku still down. Aku rasa aku still jatuh dan tak nampak sama ada bawah aku masih jauh. Atau aku je yang tak dapat nak bangun.
Aku cuba positifkan diri aku. Cari alasan lain untuk aku terus senyum. Aku mengaku. Aku tak suka dengan diri aku sekarang. Tapi aku sendiri tak boleh bangun. Aku nak terus baring. Nak terus hilang dalam dunia ni.
Life is hard. Yes. It was really hard.
Dan bila bukak folder2 lama ni mulalah tersingkap kenangan dulu... sewaktu...kasih berputik...ku gengam..erat tanganmu..Kau tunduk.....sembunyikan wajah...namun dapat aku..... (STOP IT YUHA)
(Face palm)
And Ive found the most, memorable, sweetest and authentic picture or my memories.Okay, now let me be a sentimental person,
Im start having a melancholy.
Jujur aku cakap.... Aku jugak yang lepaskan semua...dan aku jugak yang back off dulu. I never hope anything from them anymore. I dont want to ask them to hold on me. Or to look for me. I just want them to remains as my sweet memories.
Maybe after all the worst tings happen, they have a wonderful and their journey are far way beautiful than me. Then gather a lot of tings better than me. They face far way hard things than mine.
For me, this is the only memories that I cherish the most. On that time, no more suicide thought. even life was hard. But I still have my own dream. My own target. My own bull eye.
Now, all those things become past. Memories that need to remain as memories.
Im also the one who know how to have fun. But Im the one who easily give up. Easily feel offended about everything. I hate who I am rite now. But I cant do anything about it.
I tried hard. I . tried very hard to keep me alive now. Every second, I need to find a reasons to breath.
I want to smile like before. But I cant start it again. Because It was memories.
My lilt sister. My sister and brother. But its all in the past. Now, Im no one for them.
Just hating myself for not be able to protect this relationship.
The guy at my back are the one who can make me laugh like crazy and be crazy with him. He always ask me how am I doing, cuz I always have a straight face.
But how he doing now?.
Im hoping everyone doing good.
Yup. Semua orang dah tak sama mcm dlm gamba2 ni. Orang yang paling rapat jadi orang yang jauh sekali. Aku dan dunia aku. Deorang dengan dunia deorg. Setiap hari aku terpaksa cari sebab untuk aku terus bernafas. Aku masih tak tahu kenapa aku still down. Aku rasa aku still jatuh dan tak nampak sama ada bawah aku masih jauh. Atau aku je yang tak dapat nak bangun.
Aku cuba positifkan diri aku. Cari alasan lain untuk aku terus senyum. Aku mengaku. Aku tak suka dengan diri aku sekarang. Tapi aku sendiri tak boleh bangun. Aku nak terus baring. Nak terus hilang dalam dunia ni.
Life is hard. Yes. It was really hard.
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